In 20 Words, What Would You Do With This Bicycle? [From BA 42-300]
"Sit firmly on the seat, grip the handles, begin pedaling, applying brakes occasionally; maintain it well, love it."
a Craigslist experiment conceived and executed by Mitch Schneider
A few months ago I acquired a sweet, ten-speed thrasher and decided to pass it onto the people. I created a posting on craigslist which read: Road Bike for Words. Please submit in exactly 20 words why you are the most-deserving candidate for my road bike, and what you plan to use it for.
I received the following responses in the first three days…pure, road poetry from the beautiful, bike people.
Moving from Oregon without cash for a car makes this bike an important component to my future success and happiness. Jordan H.
stripped naked like a chop shop and then put back together to wheel downtown and friends in need to borrow. its no haiku, but let me know Will B.
I done could like this bike to fetch stuff fer me and my wench to cook our vittles real good. O’Connell
I need a new bike to commute to class, something that’s fast and can help me lose my fat ass. That’s 20 words exactly dude, and I swear to god I did it on my first try without even counting…I think it’s a sign. Jon W.
I would sit firmly on the seat, grip the handles, begin pedaling, applying brakes occasionally; maintain it well, love it. Neal T.
Twenty words is hardly enough to explain how much commuting, cruising, and possibly crashing would happen if it were mine. David P.
To get me from point “A” to point “B,” naturally. Thank you for making this a challenge. Good evening. Michael P.
I will commute fifteen miles each day helping to save the environment, our fuel budget, and it gets me healthy. Rom M.
Biking, riding, traveling, transporting, commuting, moving, grooving, jumping, jiving, cruising, hauling, speeding, fun, work, school, streets, paths, trails, sidewalks. Jameson H.
It’s what I need, gas forcing me to concede. My vehicle must rest, but for my health, it’s the best. Wade K.
My car is lonely. She’s a ‘98, Korean, sport model. She’s seeking a like-minded female companion to share duties with. Stice
Help I am in need of a bike for Pops! Please help him escape loving but crazy menopausal wife. THANKS! Sam R.
My five-hundred dollar Schwinn World was stolen in Old Town and I had to hop a train to Loveland. Bryan L.
I will use this bike to commute to work and stores, being a visible reminder to the driving world’s blindness. Hope that works. Aaron W.
I don’t want to be a candidate for Vietnam or Watergate. Because all I want to do is…Bicycle, Bicycle, Bicycle! Dan L.
I would convert this bike to a fixed gear bike then learn how to perform track stands to impress friends. Bob B.
Riding down Mason heading to CSU like I’m Kevin Bacon, I better watch the tracks or I’ll bust my ass. David H.
Work, store, friends—too far to walk, too close to drive. I need a bike. Something from craigslist? I hope! Alan S.
Bike to work, they say. But with what? Bikes save gas, bike riding is fun. I wish I had one. Mark A.
I can best use this bike to ride to and from my appointments. These appointments are very important to me. Chris K.
Plan to use this bike for a PhD research project. Ride bike, stain underwear, determine best detergent, write dissertation. Bill B.
I will convert the bike to an electric motorcycle then a human-powered boat in a couple years. Taylor R.
I’m buying a bike to keep my car parked in the garage, to get into shape, and save some gas. Nick S.
I will ride that roadie all over town rather than pay four dollars for gas. Please sell it to me. Neuey
Oh sweet bike I will ride to work, planet saved. Oh sweet ride, take me to that place, speedy safe. Jenny B.